Columbine
by ncfan
Summary: A Language of Flowers oneshot. Columbine stands for strength and salvation. Shikamaru loses one and is blessed with the other. Rated T to be safe.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Columbine means salvation and strength.

* * *

Columbine is a bizarre-looking flower. It seems to be almost two flowers, a flower on top of a larger one.

Shikamaru has always hated columbine. There's no rhyme or reason to its form. It doesn't serve any purpose; it's completely _illogical._

Once he tried telling his parents this. His dad agreed with him, but _Mom_, that troublesome woman, told him not to.

"_Columbine is a special flower to me, Shikamaru. Don't disrespect it."_

"_But mom—"_

"_Hush, Shikamaru. Do you want to know why I like columbine so much?"_

"_Sure, it's not like I have anything else to do."_

"_Columbine has a meaning—"_

"_A flower has a meaning?"_

"_Stop interrupting me, Shikamaru. Columbine means salvation and strength. That's why I like it so much."_

Looking down to the forest floor far below, Shikamaru can almost force out a derisive laugh. Almost, but not quite.

Shikamaru prays for strength.

This woman, Tayuya, is far too strong. Shikamaru was already almost out of chakra when he initiated his Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu (Shadow Neck Bind). And always on his mind is how unbelievably, how freakishly strong this freak is.

He's almost out of chakra. But giving up isn't an option. It's do or die, and Shikamaru isn't really all that keen on dying, despite his veneer of apathy towards…well, _everything_.

Shikamaru is not as apathetic as he would like everyone to believe. Beneath his indifferent, disinterested shell, there sits a maelstrom of emotion.

But Shikamaru likes to be in control. That's why he hates the situation he's in now, because he _isn't _in control, and that lack of control could very well get him killed if he keeps it up. When one hands control over to another, they give that person power over them, far more power than a kage or even a daimyo can even command. Well, Shikamaru thinks, the daimyo doesn't exactly count, because their power has waned over the decades to the point that if the kage completely ignores their daimyo than the daimyo can't do a thing about it. If anything, the daimyo has become answerable to his subordinate kage.

Shikamaru's strength begins to wane. He begins to pray for salvation.

Shikamaru's never had much faith in any higher power. It's not practical, it's not sensible or logical, and Shikamaru personally has no proof that any of the so-called "higher powers" exist at all.

His father is agnostic; his mother a practicing Buddhist. Oddly, his mother claims to be a pacifist. Shikamaru snorts. Considering how violent a woman Nara Yoshino is, Shikamaru doesn't think there is any more proof needed that there is no God.

His shadow begins to recede.

Shikamaru has never really believed in anything greater than himself, but now he finds himself _praying_, praying for his life, praying that someone is listening, that someone will come.

_I've got no strength left, I can't hold on!_

"You're mine!"

Shikamaru in that moment is sure that his prayers have gone unheeded, that there is no God, and that he's going to die on that tree out there in the forest, without seeing home again.

_Choji…_

_Ino…_

_Kiba…_

_Neji…_

_Naruto…_

_Dad…_

_Mom…_

_Here we go. Here we all go.  
_

Then the wind blows with a great strength, blowing his opponent away.

Shikamaru has never believed in much beyond the human sphere. But maybe, just maybe, he thinks, there is a God. Because in the form of a troublesome woman, salvation has come, and strength is riding on her heels.

* * *

I was originally going to put this from the perceptive of an OC, but then I remembered Shikamaru's fight with Tayuya, and I thought that this fit perfectly, and it made everything much more powerful emotionally to have a character we know thinking these thoughts. Just so you know, I am not an atheist, nor am I agnostic. I am a religious person, but Shikamaru, in this story, is not.


End file.
